Getting in Touch with Emotions

An exploration of intuitive and cognitive emotions, the nervous system, and the role of free will

The concept of emotion is both deeply embedded in our daily lives and, at the same time, incredibly complex and difficult to fully grasp…

During the period when I was studying systemic constellations and ancestral healing, I knew I was on a path that felt deeply right from within. What I read and listened to resonated with me both intuitively and intellectually. Yet, a part of me also wanted to understand the scientific grounding of this field.

Both my skepticism and curiosity for research, along with a desire to align with social norms, led me to revisit my master’s studies. Was it possible to conduct research that could genuinely contribute to the field of family constellations?

My academic background was in interpersonal communication. However, when I explored thesis topics, I noticed that the field was largely oriented toward professional and corporate life. My own aspiration, however, was to create something that would extend into psychology — even social psychology — and support well-being in everyday life.

Fortunately, I came across the topic: “The Relationship Between the Intergenerational Transmission of Emotional Dysregulation and Interpersonal Communication Styles.” With excitement, I immersed myself in a field that brought together many of my areas of interest. It also gave me a strong motivation to finally read the long list of books I had collected through my trainings in Reiki, coaching, and personal development.

Together with my advisor, we broke the thesis down into parts: intergenerational transmission of emotional dysregulation, the role of communication in this transmission, the relationship between emotional dysregulation and communication, and the contribution of interpersonal communication to emotional regulation… Each of these topics sparked deep curiosity and a strong desire to explore.

But the first step was crucial. The entire thesis began with a fundamental question:

What is emotion?

Between choosing my thesis topic and graduating, about 2.5 years passed. And I am not exaggerating when I say that the first year was spent almost entirely around this single question. I worked through dozens of theories across physiological, genetic, psychological, social, cultural, and philosophical perspectives. Connecting complex frameworks was enjoyable for me — like solving a puzzle…

But truly understanding and explaining what emotion is…

That part is still complicated.

Still, I will try to share a glimpse.

Because we are currently going through a collective transformation. The concept of the state, economic systems, professional work structures, mechanized ways of living… something is no longer working, and we all sense it. At the core of this shift lies something that has long been ignored — the emotional dimension of being human — now pushing to become visible.

I will briefly share the theoretical approaches to emotion within the framework I explored in my thesis.

• From a philosophical perspective, the goal is to live a virtuous life. Emotions are considered an essential component of ethical decision-making and virtuous living. A wise life becomes possible when humans can act in balance with both reason and emotion. Some philosophers argue that emotions should be restrained and guided by reason, while others value their intuitive nature and suggest they should be consciously directed.

• From an evolutionary perspective, emotions are biological adaptations that help organisms respond to environmental threats and opportunities. Physiological and neurophysiological approaches extend this view, defining emotions as bodily responses mediated by the autonomic nervous system. What these perspectives share is this: emotions are vital for survival, and emotional balance begins with bodily awareness.

• Psychological approaches, however, do not see emotions as purely bodily processes. They consider them part of a cognitive meaning-making process. Individuals interpret their experiences, and emotions are shaped within this evaluation. Social psychology adds another layer, suggesting that emotions are not only individual but also socially constructed. From this perspective, emotional balance is learned and reshaped within relationships and context.

And this is where things start to become more complex…

Are emotions spontaneous experiences? Are they responses emerging from a process? Or are they learned patterns shaped by society? In truth, they are all of these.

One of the key features that distinguishes humans from other mammals is the ability to think and create meaning — to construct narratives. This means we have two primary ways of generating emotions.

One is natural, intuitive, and immediate.

When we enter a space, meet someone, or encounter a change in our physical environment — such as weather — our nervous system quickly produces emotional responses: relief, excitement, fear, surprise, trust… These emotions arise instantly and mobilize the body. They create impulses to move forward, withdraw, approach, or pause.

The other is the emotion we construct through thinking.

These emotions can be learned through social interaction, passed down across generations, or shaped by personal experience. They are rooted in narratives. They do not arise instantly but are formed through experience and reflection: anxiety, guilt, shame, regret, optimism, hope…

Let’s consider a concrete example: the fear of being seen.

• When we encounter a large, wild animal, we feel fear. Our nervous system, equipped with evolutionary survival mechanisms, recognizes the danger of being seen and activates a fight-or-flight response. Our heart rate increases, the body tenses, and attention sharpens. This fear is immediate and natural.

• Now imagine standing in front of an audience to give a presentation. Visibility may again create anxiety. Thoughts arise: Will I express myself clearly? Will this be engaging? What if I say something wrong? Our voice may tremble, our hands may sweat, and we may feel a sense of tightness. The nervous system is activated again, but here the emotion is not purely immediate — it is shaped through cognitive processes and meaning-making.

We can also look at positive emotions.

• Meeting someone we love, walking under the sun, or enjoying a favorite meal naturally creates a sense of joy. The body responds quickly, releasing hormones that amplify this feeling.

• Optimism, however, while supporting a similar positive state, is more closely linked to a cognitive framework. It is shaped by how we interpret the future, the meanings we construct, and our internal dialogue.

So why does it matter whether emotions arise naturally or through cognition Because it gives us access to free will...

A person who is in touch with their emotions becomes aware of themselves. They become aware of their needs. And through this awareness, they can begin to make choices aligned with their essence.

We have been raised in what I would call a “dream of happiness.” The business world, the education system, belief structures… all of them prefer individuals who are happy, problem-free, and productive. Sadness, grief, anger, fear — these are not welcome. We are expected to recover quickly, return to work, and stay functional… but not feel too much.

Yet emotions do not work that way. When we try to “move past” a feeling too quickly, we do not actually complete it. And what remains incomplete eventually returns.

This has been the dominant pattern for centuries. For the sake of social harmony, standardized education, and productivity, emotionally muted individuals were required. This was taught, practiced, and normalized. Whether in fear, joy, or anger — expressing too much was discouraged. Adaptation was expected.

But the world is changing.

People are beginning to reconnect with their emotional nature — both individually and collectively. To be in touch with one’s emotions means being open to seeing, accepting, and experiencing one’s essence. It means individuals acting from authenticity, and societies guided by human sensitivity. Communities that inspire rather than silence, that energize rather than suppress.

A different kind of world is possible.

Not one that merely adapts, but one that feels…

Not one that stays silent, but one that expresses…

Not one that simply survives, but one that truly lives…

And perhaps this transformation begins in a very simple place:

The moment we allow ourselves to genuinely feel our own emotions.

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When I first started writing this blog, my intention was to share my lived experiences and to bring the theoretical knowledge I gained during my thesis into everyday life.

You can access the full version of my thesis through the National Thesis Center. However, if this way of sharing feels closer to you than academic language, you’re welcome to join my mailing list via the form on the homepage to stay informed about future writings.

Wishing you days where you can freely connect with your emotions.